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06:56pm 14/10/2004
mood: excited
I went To Jim's lunch tonight.. with Dana Ben and Mike.. it was GREAT as always...


After that.. Mike brings me home, drops me off, and leaves.. I go to ring the door bell and go in.. and to my surprise there wasn't anyone there.. shit.. so i was all.. shit.. so i go up on my deck and try to break in the 3 windows there.. Might i had I had to take screens off too, Well i coudln't get any of them off, I have like window lock things.. so..i got really upset.. Well did I say I had to pee very bad!? Well.. I had to pee really bad.. and icouldnt' get in.. i dont know if anyone's every tried doing things when they had to pee.. well.. its not fucking easy. It makes me have to go more.. so.. I peed. i went behind my shed and peed. Haha, then i continued to try and get into my house.. .WELL i finally found a fuckin window to crawl through after about 23 tires at other windows.. It sucked a mean one!

Alright... anyway..
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hey guess what. 
12:24pm 21/05/2004
mood: good
I miss practicing!!!!
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03:48pm 25/02/2004
  Bernardi is no longer, the name at least.

We've decided to change it to the name to....


New community coming soon.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?!?!?!? post comments..
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10:07pm 07/02/2004

An Erotic Bernardi Fanfic By Nick"
Inspired by actual events

Nick unzipped Stef’s pants and slowly slid them down as Jamie did the same to him. Nick stood up to fully remove his pants and remove his boxers. As he did, Stef and Jamie noticed something was missing.
“Umm, Nick, where is your penis?” Stef questioned.
“Penis? Whoa! Let’s back up a second, no one said for me to bring a penis.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you? You’re not supposed to bring one! You’re supposed to HAVE ONE!”
“What the hell are we supposed to do then? Jamie do you have one?”
“Nope, sorry, alls I was supposed to do was lay back and get worked on. I can see that’s not going to happen since SOMEONE fucked up.”
Faintly in the background they hear, “I have one!”
“Well shit, that ruins this night! What about TJ? Does he have one?” Nick walks up to manager TJ and questions him. “So, got a penis I can borrow?”
“Dude, this is your sexual fantasy, not mine. Since I mentioned it, you suck at fantasizing too!”
“Well you suck at letting others borrow your penis, so there!”
Again we hear, “I have a penis!!”
“Well what the fuck are we supposed to do? Are you sure I’m supposed to have it? I mean, I thought you were supposed to have one Stef!”
“Shit, what the fuck!?”
Again, “I have a penis!!”
“Oh Anthony! Will you shut the fuck up? I’m trying to think here! Hmm, How about we trying calling a sex store?”
After trying a few stores and failing, Anthony comes up to Nick. “Hey, I have a penis!”
“I heard you the first fucking time, and that’s great that you have one, but no one wants it!”
Anthony goes back into his room, taking with him two of the many women who are standing in line, waiting to be dominated by the guitarist of the band BERNARDI.
Over the moans in the next room, Jamie yells, “I FOUND IT! I FOUND IT! It was hiding in my ass! Sorry dude!”
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rockin' it just how you like it... 
11:57pm 02/02/2004
  tonight was an extremely lucky night for the band...jamie and i went over to anthony's to practice, and we worked on "just a body" and wrote a new song "open the sky" (which is the grease song that sounds like we're on our way to being a prom band)...moanmoan i wanted to "tee" and cry and frolick when i heard it...it's the song that's always in my head and now it's orgasmic.

to get even more auspicious, while lugging jamie's amp up to her room, we met this dewd named adam who said he plays guitar and would want to do rhythm and that his friend is "like the best drummer in the state, no joking"...who knows who knows...jamie was pimping us out and gave him the number on our flyer

...ah yes, the flyers. i got around to making them, and now we just need to hang them up. they are creative and fun, and describe us as "astronamatrix rock" (i figured why not invent a word that describes us, instead of trying to figure it out and place us in an already-made category). i hung one up on the floor of my dorm by the door, and just when i thought i might want to move it, i came back tonight to find that someone took one of the numbers

*insert lots of screaming*

three times luckiness....that is exciting

i won't be able to sleep tonight

i love jamie and anthony
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06:27pm 26/01/2004
mood: ecstatic
OH MY GOD!!! BERNARDI (well Jamie and Stef and Jenell [she's jamie's muse and stef's nemesis]) HUNG OUT WITH DEVO!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!


title or description

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12:30pm 26/01/2004
  Bernardi needs your help :)

we're making a website.. and we're trying to think of some questions to put on our individual bios.

We're asking you to come up with...

1. Questions
2. Top Five lists.

And also, if you have any suggestions for sections in the site? We have, MP3, lyrics, pictures, and bio. Anything else?

thank you :)
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"we're gonna be rich!" 
02:03am 25/01/2004
  yesterday jamie and i had practice, and i finally made it through "headlines" without fucking up the middle part! anyway...we wrote two new songs -- "different kind of the same thing" and "venus flytrap" -- so that puts us at 14 songs...we rule.

tj sat in for a bit, too, which was pretty fun.

tomorrow we practice with anthony at anthony's house, and maybe fitz will join us. i personally think it should be anthony's duty to find a drummer, since he is so selective. rar
10:05pm 23/01/2004

Bernardi, the band, that is, is practicing it up right now. I am priveleged enough to be sitting in the Jamie McCarthy Memorial Recording Studios....right next to Stef and Jamie!! They are rocking out!

In all seriousness, folks, the last song they sang (Stef spoke the last few words, actually, which was extra hotttt) it was like it made me crap, pee, vomit, burp, hiccup, sneeze, snort, and cum all at the same time. Only a good feeling. Convert the crapping and vomiting to good feelings, keep the cum, and maybe the cool feeling you get from a real good sneeze, and that's what it's like to listen to the last song they sang.
Too bad I already forgot what the title was. And what the song was about. Ruffled underwear, or something like that...

I am so proud to manage such raw, talented professionals with so much potential.
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03:42pm 14/01/2004
  It's been a long time since the band has updated, with good reason too: We were on winter break.

During that break though, the band was productive in their own ways. Stef started work on a website as well as penned new lyrics. She also went over lyrics for some of our already-done songs and we worked out backing vocals (hold my hand.). I got a new guitar strap! and Anthony continued to hump things.

However, not all was good in the Bernardi camp. Why? Beacuase Drummer Matt Connell has parted ways with Bernardi.

The split is amicable. Manager TJ can be heard saying "Both Bernardi and Connell will continue to pursue their respective musical careers. Both wish each other the best of luck in all future endeavors."

Connell, who often appeared at practice in elaborate face and body paint, had been the Bernardi drummer from the start.

The drummer's departure won't affect the release of the Bernardi's remix LP, "Why is our first LP a Remix LP?", due in Aprcember or DJ Stef's solo album, expected to surface in Febember or Maruary.

In Febober, Connell released "Baby I'm being Sexual", the debut album by his side project Big Pizza Face. It was followed by a month-long tour in Janue.

Yes, it is sad, Matt is our friend and we hope to be friends in the future, but things need to be done a certain way. Rock on my friend.

And hopefully, we'll have more updates for you soon as we start to get back into the swing of things :)

ps. http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1449976/10122001/limp_bizkit.jhtml was used to help write this report!
Bernardi - WCUR Sessions 12-13-03 
01:44am 23/12/2003

Bernardi (3/4ths of it, anyway) did quite an impromptu recording session on Manager TJ's birthday right before school let out. Mp3s of this session, including an all new version of "Soundcheck" with new lyrics that are part of this complete breakfast can be found at:


have fun, give us your feedback here.
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this is bernardi 
11:25am 19/12/2003
  upon viewing this is spinal tap last night with BERNARDI fan club president gabe, i have decided that i definitely need to bring the video camera back with me and film the documentary. and if not the documentary, all the other fun things. i'll record the blue ribbon special at tom jones, if i have to (and i do).  
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04:56pm 18/12/2003
Bernardi was on tour, since they are the best band ever. Their tour was so extensive, they went all over the world, including to India. Stef macked it with Ghandi.

Bernardi's "Zac Hanson can suck our collective balls" tour took them to Washington. Bill Gates gave them a billion dollars to play for him at Microsoft's headquarters. Stef was generous, and gave Gabe 10 million.

The tour later carried the world reknowned band to Washington DC. George Dubya saw the lights from the pyrotechnics, and thought that we were under attack. In retaliation for Bernardi's attack of america, he ordered a full tactical nuclear strike of the moon.

Bernardi's vast fortune allowed them to buy over a small tv station, and restart the show American Bandstand. At first the only songs played were by Bernardi, but when the nightly television audiance of the show exceeded the number of people who watched the moon landing, more bands paid Bernardi to be able to appear. Bernardi became the worlds most powerful television corporation, and stef kicked Rupert Murdoch in the balls.

Bernardi wasnt just any other band, for every member was also an accredited doctor and heart surgon. One day, while performing, someone in the front of the crowd suffered a massive heart attack from all the pressure placed on them from the other fans surging towards the front. The members of Bernardi jumped off of the stage, tore out his now broken and useless heart, and put in a fresh one that they kept on ice backstage in case of such emergencies.
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01:21am 13/12/2003



you old fart.


hey in other news - bernardi recorded tonight, minus anthony.  But we plan on getting a good recording done next january.  This recording was just a snare drum, stef, and myself doing REALLY rough cuts off all the songs for a CD to practice with over our time apart.

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Fifel Update 2 
07:32pm 12/12/2003
  Papou got a camera, so he thought he'd take a picture of him and Fifel spending quality time together!

Fifel is camping out on the futon in the den while he's over at Papou's during the holiday break. He misses his mommies and his dad a little bit too!

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Fifel Update 
04:25pm 12/12/2003
  when he saw that papou took the bernardi quiz, Fifel wanted to play along. I helped him take it, and here's what he got:

Just A Body
You are Just A Body ... frankly, most people bore
you to death, but instead of leaving them
alone, you prefer to use them ... that's all
they're good for, right?

What BERNARDI song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

He started snickering and ran off to go play after we got this result. I must say, the boy is very intelligent and takes after his Papou in almost every respect but this one. I'm so proud of you, Jamie Matt and Stef!
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02:01pm 12/12/2003
  Surprise Surprise!!!

You are Headlines ... you are out for love and
attention, and you believe that being making
the front page is the only way to achieve that

What BERNARDI song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

the thing is a little harsh though.. i dont think fame is the only way to get it!!! ;)
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08:38pm 12/12/2003
You are Syrup ... you are the song about obsession
... it doesn't matter if it didn't work out ...
you still want to be all over them ...

What BERNARDI song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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08:45am 12/12/2003
  Holy shit!

You are Headlines ... you are out for love and
attention, and you believe that being making
the front page is the only way to achieve that

What BERNARDI song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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01:37am 12/12/2003
mood: curious
Tired of Pure
You are Tired of Pure ... aren't you the naive
dirty/boy ... you are out to do celebrities,
and you don't care if they use you and toss you
aside ... maybe it's due to all the suffering
you've done ...

What BERNARDI song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

this would mean more to me if I had the songs.
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